A friend of mine contacted me tonight to see if I’d be interested in helping to raise money for a member of our little community, circle of friends, whatever you wanna call it and I said of course I would. When one of my friends that lives in my computer was asking for help with a big charity event, I said absolutely. I’m in the process now of planning two fund raising concerts for 2010 for youth organizations and local shelters.

I like helping. I like doing charity stuff.

But ya know what sucks? I need help too.

It’s winter. It’s almost Christmas. We just got hit with a blizzard, I can’t even get my car out of the driveway so I haven’t left the house in three days, I have no money to get my daughter anything for Christmas not even stocking stuffers, I’m relying on space heaters in below-zero temps, I have no food in the house, no gas in my car, my cable Internet is shut off so I’m having to use a slow-ass mobile thingy with limited time on it and watching so many DVDs that I think I broke my DVD player or my TV because Ross and Rachel and Monica all look like Oompa Loompas, and I am fucking miserable.

The only thing keeping me going right now is my friends and my little girl.

Yet here I sit raising money for everyone else when I can’t even raise any for myself.

This SUCKS.

I thought that when you did good things, good things are supposed to happen. And not just to that Earl dude. I know, I know…you’re not supposed to do good things just because you want something out of it. I don’t expect recognition and I don’t have selfish motives. It just feels good to help people.

But still….it’d be nice if that whole threefold or tenfold or karma or whatever was actually true. That would be totally awesome if the Karma Fairy showed up on my door. Well, considering I don’t have a snow shovel (and even if I did I’m not physically capable of shoveling anyway) maybe she has tried to get here but can’t get up my freakin’ sidewalk. Figures.